Hey Guys! So I attempted to write a blog post in Pidgin English and I like it! I'll try to translate it to proper English later if anyone wants me to. :)

Na wah o! How e be say 4 o'clock never knack since morning!? No be say I wan make madam come back, but I just wan make Sunday reach.
Why I want make Sunday reach fast fast? E get this bobo wey dey do protocol for church, e foooiiine ehnn!  Nah him I dey look last week wey pastor talk say "Look how focused that young lady is. She's just soaking in all of the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ!" I pray say na sermon go make me dey happy like that!

This oga protocol wey I dey talk, e wan use style resemble my Obong wey leave me go Port. Him go do houseboy work for there like two years before them carry me too come Lagos find work. Him talk say, when he reach Port Harcourt  he go write me letter like them dey do for the oyinbo film we watch for Aunty Edet house.

Chai! Obong do me strong thing o! The day wey he suppose travel go Port, I dey cry tell am say dem Port Harcout women go enter hin head, say he go soon forget me. He come talk say I be him Inemesit, the only sweetheart wey him get, say na mi wey first make him plantain stand, say na only me he fit love so that kin forget-forget thing wey I dey talk no fit happen. The talk wey he talk sweet me, so I no tink am again. I just tell am sey make him dey write me letter plenty, say make him do fast, come back come marry me. He talk say make my mind no waka too much, say make I no hear the 'tory wey my friend Janet dey talk consign big city boys and the things wey dem dey do, say him Iniobong Ekpoh no fit forget me hin only Inemesit.

Na that same Inemesit  I be, wey he never send me anything since three years now. I don dey Lagos for over one year now, e be like say me too I go find new plantain be that. Me sef I no be mumu; I no dey slack. Na Obong wey dey my head, wey no allow me think better thing. The one month wey we don move come madam new house, I don dey look the corners wey them fine bobos dey play ball. All I suppose do now na to find blade take cut that white round neck wey madam dash me last month, go fetch water near the field wey dem dey play and come behave as if I no know how water take pour me. Dem go no sey Emekemeabasi Asuquo III don land Lagos! Dem go talk my 'tory carry back reach Obong wherever him dey. Make him self no say I no dey slack! Inemesit my yansh!


"E--me-ke-me-abasi!!! which kin shit you dey shit wey the whole house come scatter like this?"

Ha! na madam just throway pidgin give me?! Wetin do the oyinbo degree wey she dey use scatter my brain since all these days? Wey she go dey talk say na Queen's English she dey speak. Abi na my shit change Queen to pidgin..abeg make I use am laugh small jare!!


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