NOW LISTENING: ORIN TUNTUN BY PSALMOS
|I’m having way too much fun listening and moving to this song. I love her voice! I should know the 'technical term' for what I like about her voice, but I don’t. While you’re listening to that (you’re doing that right?), I've had the itch to blog for a while now and I'm slowly getting around to scratching it. So I have here what I’ve written so far. I'm not really scared to put unfinished work out there. I think it's okay to let your imaginations help you complete it, like I'll be doing eventually. Enjoy!|
The hardest thing about coming home has been that nothing changed. I was looking forward to having a familiar yet unfamiliar place to return to. Kind of like a fresh start but with elements from the past that didn't need fixing. But nothing has changed. These streets still smell like freshly brewed human stench, the mix of unbathed bodies, decomposing waste and everything else you wouldn't be interested in breathing in at 6 in the morning. Nevertheless, today I run. I have to.
The first step to my recovery is making a plan and sticking with it. Well it technically isn't the first step, but it's the step that keeps me sane. Running helps. It clears my mind; the only part of me that isn't refreshed by a good night's sleep, or at least that hasn't been for the past 8 months. I wake up almost everyday unable to move, unable to speak or do anything even though I'm fully conscious and aware of my wakened state. My doctor says it's sleep paralysis. Yeah right. It wears off after a few seconds or minutes, depending on how much fun the demons of my ex-fiancee feel like having.
.... to be continued / stay tuned for the rest.
Have a Jesus- honouring rest of the week!