It's June a.k.a. birthday month and I'm taking stock of my life...again. I don't know how or why, well maybe I do, but January to April was incredibly lonely. I wasn't always alone, but it was just lonely.
I had just gotten done my Naija trip, during which I almost always had something to be excited about. Even basic stuff like the constant honking of okada guys had me alert and somewhat excited about life. Then I came back to Canada and moved 7 hours away from home. New city, new school, new phase of life (sorta), no more mother to whine about my day to, no more siblings to bug me, and then there was the super dry city...oh, and winter too. Basically, a whole lot of change and the result? Bam! I gained 15-20lbs and didn't even realize it, and I also got involved in some *sigh* let's call them avoidable things.
|Photo credit: wolfgangfoto via Scandinavian / CC BY-ND|
Now, it's June and I've had really really good months so far, and I'm trying to track the source of my joy so I can bottle up for the rainy days that are ahead. And I sincerely don't know how to.
I had my friends and family from home visit me last week, and they asked what I did to keep myself busy (sensing how empty my life must feel) and I talked about sewing, hiking, school stuff, church. But it still didn't impress them, truth be told, it didn't impress me either. I'm just here realizing that this is a really good time of my life and I want to keep things this way. But I don't know where this fountain of contentment has sprung from. I don't know how to keep it flowing. Is it summer, is it the occasional adrenaline high that accompanies taking walks? What is it?
I was even laptop-less for close to three weeks because my silly MacBook decided it would quit on me. Still, I didn’t lose my joy.
I really cannot get back to the lows of February and March, so I 'm just here wondering what to do. Oh wait, talk to God so He can teach you what to do.
Sigh. I do this all the time- try it my way, waste plenty time (and in this case words), before I remember to ask the one who knows it all.
Alright I'll be back. But first, I'll hit the publish button.